


Fester

by aurguries



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, tw: mentions of attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26423575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurguries/pseuds/aurguries
Summary: It was like a wound you let fester for too long until it was too late to do anything.
Relationships: Nathan Prescott/Original Character(s), Nathan Prescott/Original Female Character(s), Nathan Prescott/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Fester

Much like the imagery on most of the Vortex Club posters depicting a figure doomed to fall backwards into an unescapable spiral, you felt as though you were trapped replaying today’s events over and over again in your head, no matter how much you wished to forget.

Despite Nathan’s repeated attempts to shield you from what was happening at that moment by pulling you close to him, clutching your wrist tightly with one hand while the other tried to guide your face away from what everyone was staring at, you had untangled yourself from him almost immediately, knowing deep down what he was trying to spare you from seeing.

You saw it in Nathan’s face when you stumbled away from him. The way his eyes stared back at you, guilt flickering in them for a second before it was gone, and he was reaching out to you again. But instead of accepting the safe haven he was offering you, which would have you locked securely in his arms with your face burrowed against his shoulder, you turned your head upwards and _looked_.

Even now, you could still see Kate Marsh up on that roof. In the dark confines of your room, she still stood dangerously close to the edge, getting ready to jump. And trapped in your room, you still felt as helpless as you did then, and _terrified_. It had been _hours_ since you tried to go to sleep, believing that was the easiest solution to forgetting what you saw today, but no matter how hard you shut your eyes, Kate Marsh just wouldn’t go away. So you sat on the edge of your bed instead, knees tucked under your chin as you rocked back and forth, trying to get a hold of yourself.

A part of you wanted Nathan with you, even though he usually didn’t know what to do when you started crying. But his presence had always been the most comforting thing during those moments. He would sit quietly by your side, sometimes offering words of comfort in a softer tone than he was used to, waiting patiently for you to finish. He didn’t bark at you to stop your weeping, no matter how uncomfortable it made him feel. He just waited till you were done, and sometimes even held your hand.

But the only reason why you were alone in your bed instead of with him, was because _you_ were the one who turned him away when he offered to stay. He had accompanied you back to your dorm after Kate tried to jump, telling you that he could come back after attending an inquiry at the principal’s office but you had refused. You couldn’t face him, not after hearing the rumours that he was the one who dosed Kate at the Vortex Club party. The worst part was it wasn’t completely hard to believe, given the other things he had done. You already turned a blind eye to most of them. Just yesterday you overheard Max Caulfield telling the principal that she saw Nathan waving a gun around in the girls’ bathroom. You didn’t want to believe it at first, but when Nathan came to you with bloody scratches on his cheek while he raved about Max being a nosy bitch, your heart sank in despair, because why else would he confront Max if he had nothing to hide?

Maybe it was your fault Kate nearly jumped. You could have confronted Nathan about the whether or not he dosed her at the party, but you were too scared to do so. Too scared of losing him. You picked him over doing something right for Kate, just like you picked him over everything else again and again.

A voice mimicking Kate came bitterly from the recesses of your mind.

_What kind of person are you? You could have helped me by going to the police about Nathan, but you chose to do nothing. This is your fault._

Your throat felt tight as your bottom lip quivered, eyes filling with tears that were just threatening to spill over. This really was _your fault_. Max was the real hero today, not you. She got Kate to come down, not you. You just added to her list of problems. Even though you didn’t watch the viral video or share the link to it, you were still no saint. If you truly wanted to help, you should have approached Kate the moment the video made its way around Blackwell and offer to accompany her to the police station with your knowledge of Nathan and his illegal drug dealing, which also happened to be something else you couldn’t admit out loud. It was why you didn’t attend any of the Vortex Club parties. So you could plead further ignorance to what Nathan was doing.

Time and time again your actions proved that you had no problem doing bad things for Nathan’s sake. You wondered constantly just how far you were willing to go in the future to cover up something potentially worse. How far you were willing to turn a blind eye to his wrongdoings. It was like a wound you let fester for too long until it was too late to do anything. Now you couldn’t even _form_ the words to ask him about it. Things might have been different if you had just spoken up the moment you knew things were wrong, at least by doing that it would’ve made it easier to speak up now. But you pretended everything was fine from the start, rendering whatever chances you had of making things right completely useless.

Your cheeks were wet now, stained with tears you didn’t even know had spilled. Kate was always nice to you, despite your relationship with Nathan. Not many people would go out of their way to talk to you, but she did. And this was how you repaid her. Kate was right.

_What kind of person are you?_

The sound of your door opening stopped you from answering. You hastily wiped away your tears as you turned to look, ready to ask whoever it was that was intruding to leave you alone. But when the lamp switched on and you were greeted by the sight of Nathan at your door, the words fell away as you took in his appearance. Nathan looked slightly dishevelled, familiar red jacket draped on his shoulders, a slightly stormy look in his eyes. You were so transfixed by the sight of him that it was only when he shut the door behind him that you were able to say something.

“What are you doing here? It’s way past curfew,” you whispered, wiping away the remains of your tears with the sleeves of the sweater you wore as you lowered your feet to the ground. You didn’t like Nathan seeing you like this even though he had before. But if you could help it, you’d rather not. You had to appear as strong as you could in front of him, because that was what you were, the _stronger one_. You had to be. Nathan was prone to bad breakdowns, usually triggered by something his father said or did. But when it came to the _worst_ of those breakdowns, he hardly listened to reason, lashing out at anybody who tried to help, including you. And you couldn’t afford to be weak during those times. He needed somebody strong, strong enough to sit through the storm with him until the worst of it was over. He needed _you_.

You saw Nathan stare at you uneasily, hands shoved in his pockets. He knew you had been crying, that much you could tell, from the way his gaze lingered on your face.

“I wanted to see you,” he simply stated, shrugging like it was no big deal, but you noticed how he remained rooted at where he stood, almost like he was afraid you would crumble if he took a step further. His voice was also gentler, rendering it nearly impossible to recognize as his if not for the fact that you heard it sound like that before.

“You shouldn’t have,” you mumbled, glancing away. “People are still awake, you know. They could have seen you sneaking in here.”

“Calm down, nobody saw me,” Nathan drawled, some of the usual grittiness returning to his voice as he dismissed your concerns with a wave of his hand. “And who cares if they did? Everyone knows better than to narc on me.” He paused before adding, “ _Or_ you.”

“I suppose that’s true,” you mused, nodding slightly.

Nathan shifted his feet, sneaking a quick look around your room. You wondered if he remembered how nervous you had been when you and him were intimate for the first time. It happened right here in this room, at the moment you both least expected it. One minute you were chilling with him, laughing together at the _stupidest_ things, and then the next you found yourselves tangled in bed, his lips all over your skin. At least _that_ wasn’t as bad as the first time you kissed. You were extremely nervous, nearly shaking when he leaned in to close the small gap between the both of you in his car. So nervous till you bumped heads with him by accident, causing him to curse out loud. Nathan being Nathan, still made fun of it sometimes, though it was all in good humour. _Bad kisser_ , he mercilessly teased you in private, and yet, after all the teasing, he would lean in and steal a quick kiss from you before you had a chance to protest.

Was _that_ Nathan capable of drugging an innocent girl at a party?

Noticing him gazing at something, your eyes shifted towards the direction he was staring at only to realise he was staring at a framed picture on your desk. The one that held the both of you in it, immortalized by a mere snap of a camera. You remembered that day well, almost like it was just yesterday. With a flour smeared cheek that lifted with a wide grin while dressed in an apron that had chocolate stains on it, you were a _mess_. But it wasn’t like Nathan was any better. The tip of his nose and the upper part of his lip were covered in flour that he had gotten when he, despite your protests, still leaned in to playfully plant sloppy kisses all over your white stained cheek. He had his arm looped around your waist to pull you close, your heads slightly touching as you posed for the picture he was taking. He looked so happy, the side you wished people got to see of him more often. The one that was kind and gentle, nothing like the boy his father wished him to be, the one a lucky few got to witness. You looked so happy too, grinning along with him. It had been awhile since the both of you smiled like that.

“Remember that ugly cake you baked for my birthday last year?” he suddenly asked, lips quirking up into a small smirk. “Looked like someone sat on it.”

You smiled lightly.

“I remember how much you _loved_ that ugly cake.”

Though he let out a _hmmpph_ at this, you noticed how he didn’t deny it.

Nathan proceeded to take a seat beside you on the bed, shoulders hunched.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

You shook your head, chewing nervously on your bottom lip.

“Me too. Fucking sucks,” he muttered, an unreadable look in his eyes.

“You want to sleep here tonight?” you immediately found yourself asking even though you didn’t _want_ to want him to. In fact, you were tempted to tell him to leave just like you did earlier, but when Nathan nodded, a part of you immediately felt relieved. Your chest didn’t feel so tight anymore, and you started focusing on just being here, just breathing with Nathan, the image of Kate nearly jumping starting to fade.

You suddenly felt his arms circle around you, trapping you in a tight hug.

“Nathan –”

“Just shut up and let me make you feel better,” he grumbled as he held you tighter. You tensed at first, completely taken aback, but after a while you allowed yourself to sink into him, relishing how warm and safe you felt. Your hands creeped up his back, and when you didn’t hear him protest, you curled your fingers into the material of his jacket, clinging on to Nathan as you let your chin sink into his shoulder. It was almost ironic, that despite Nathan not being too keen on hugs, he was so good at giving them.

After a short while, he pulled away from you, exhaling heavily before slumping backwards onto the bed. You followed suit, falling backwards next to him, only a few inches away. The both of you laid there in total silence, letting everything just _exist_ for a while, taking in the stillness of the night, chests rising and falling in sync. Moments like this were hard to come by in Arcadia Bay, despite how quaint and peaceful a town it seemed to be. But that was how it usually was, things were usually presented with a facade, whatever they wished to hide buried deep within.

It was the same with Nathan. He had his armour on constantly, outwardly aggressive and hostile, even nearly bringing you to tears with his threats the first time you met him. But as you slowly chipped away at him piece by piece, you were rewarded with a gentler side of Nathan. One that was far more vulnerable, affectionate, but above all else, loyal to a fault. You loved him almost immediately.

“Another shitty day,” you heard him murmur beside you.

Your eyes traced the ceiling under the dim light, murmuring back a soft, “Yeah.”

Nathan suddenly muttered, “You must hate me.”

 _You must hate me after Kate._ That was what he really wanted to say, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just you who couldn’t say the words, he couldn’t say them too. The both of you couldn’t say a lot of things to each other. Maybe it was the fear things would become unbearable if you did. Recovery for something that had festered for so long was nearly unthinkable.

“I don’t,” you whispered, swallowing hard as you shifted over to face him.

You saw Nathan shut his eyes tightly, voice flat. “You _should_.”

Frowning worryingly at him, you inched closer to where he laid, imploring in a hushed tone, “Don’t _say that_.”

Reaching a hand out, you felt your fingers brush against his, which he responded to by tangling them through yours tightly. You proceeded to rub circles at the back of his hand, trying to remind him that you were here with him. He wasn’t alone anymore. Neither of you were.

“I feel bad,” Nathan dragged out in a strained voice and then grew quiet.

“What do you feel bad about?” you asked, feeling his hand untangle from yours before he shifted over to face the other side, lapsing into silence once more.

You frowned, moving closer to him before tentatively reaching out to brush your hand against his back, waiting to see if he would recoil. When he didn’t, you allowed yourself to run your hand up and down it in soothing motions, feeling him relax under your touch.

It was something he liked you doing, even though he would never tell you that or ask for it. That was just how Nathan was, especially when it came to the issue of touching. Though he didn’t directly tell you that his father used to beat him, you could see it in the way he used to tense at your touch, at least during the first few months into your relationship. But now that he was used to it, he didn’t tense anymore, and seemed to find some form of comfort in it. You always felt that despite being afraid of physical contact, a part of him desperately craved it as well, touch-starved and afraid until you came along. He even initiated contact sometimes now, like the hug he gave you earlier, and it was something you always reminded yourself never to take for granted, knowing how hard it must have been for him to take the first step.

So you waited patiently for him to confide in you, continuing to rub his back comfortingly. Even if he did go out and say that he was feeling bad about drugging Kate, ultimately confirming your suspicions, you promised yourself you wouldn’t run. You would face this together, no matter how afraid you were.

“Fucking everything,” he huffed out instead. “I’m so _sick_ of people trying to control me. I just –” he stopped and let out a heavy sigh, voice weary. “I just want this to be over.”

“I hear you,” you murmured, feeling guilty at the relief that sank in when he decided not to bring up Kate, but before you could dwell on it, Nathan continued to speak, this time in a voice equipped with the harsh tone most of the Bay residents and Blackwell students were familiar with, the one that used to frighten you.

“I just want to get out of this shithole as fast as I can. Far away from that _asshole_ who thinks he owns me just because I’m related to him by blood,” Nathan snarled, voice stinging. “Did you know I didn’t even want to move here in the first place? I only did because my father forced me to, all for his fucked up vision of continuing the _family legacy_.” Nathan faked a dry laugh. “What family legacy? Arcadia Bay is a fucking _dump_.”

His voice only softened when you stopped rubbing his back and moved to hug him instead, wrapping your arms around him from behind, body pressed close to his. You felt his anger slowly fade away, hearing him let out a ragged sigh after a moment.

“I just want to run away with you sometimes,” Nathan told you in a deflated tone.

“Then let’s do that,” you replied, cuddling closer to him. “We could go far away. Leave immediately after graduation and move to Seattle where my parents are at. They love you. I’m sure they’ll help us if we ask. We can start new lives there, far away from all this.”

“Your parents are nice,” Nathan admitted, and you could hear a trace of longing in his voice.

He probably missed them too, your parents whom he met over Christmas break last year. At first he was wary of them, the way they fussed over him constantly, making sure he had enough to eat and making sure he was feeling at home. You didn’t exactly ask why he felt like that, though you suspected that it had something to do with feeling of everyone wanting something from him, that they were only being nice because he was _Nathan Prescott_. But as the weeks passed, Nathan slowly warmed up to them. From joining in the family conversations to laughing in the kitchen with your mother or cracking jokes with your father, Nathan really opened up a lot.

And when it came to the long dreaded day of leaving for Arcadia Bay, you could see how much it pained him to leave. They hugged him so tight, your parents, and you swore even they looked pained to see him go. Seattle was _good_ for him. It warmed your heart seeing Nathan so happy, even if it only lasted for a few weeks. You had never seen him smile like he did when he was having dinner with your parents, or laugh like he did when either one of them made fun of the both of you. It made you wish you could stay there with Nathan forever, just locked in those peaceful moments. You knew he wished that too, having worn a forlorn expression the whole journey back. The sight was enough to make your heart ache.

“They miss you,” you murmured against his back, thinking about how much fun you and Nathan had visiting Victoria as well. She had taken the both of you on a tour at her parents’ famous gallery, and you even managed to convince her and Nathan to attend a carnival with you. You swore you had never seen anything else funnier than the sight of Nathan and Victoria defeated by your shameless pleading. The King and Queen of Blackwell, dragged along to a carnival to pacify you. But Nathan did look happy even then. Seattle really was good for him. He would have Victoria there as well, not just you or your parents.

“Remember how I tried to make breakfast for them and I screwed it up _so fast_?” Nathan suddenly asked. You could hear the laughter in his voice as he reminded you of this. “I thought they were going to kick me out for fucking up their kitchen.”

“Don’t exaggerate,” you grinned, fingers playfully moving up to tug at his hair before he smacked your hand away. “They thought you were cute. _Especially_ mom.”

Though he scoffed at this, you could hear the happy glow in his voice. “Yeah right.”

“It’s true,” you insisted, giggling at the memory. “Mom told me that if you had just sealed the blender properly, didn’t burn the toast _or_ spill the eggs, you could have made quite the spread. Dad thought it was _hilarious_ , he said it reminded him of his first time making breakfast.”

“I seriously doubt that. Your father isn’t bad at anything.”

You heard a hint of jealousy in his voice, making you recall the first time you met _his_ dad.

Sean Prescott was nothing like your father. He berated Nathan often for the littlest things, picking and prying at everything he did. You remembered him as cold and distant, hardly saying much to you at dinner before excusing himself to “handle something at work”. Nathan’s mother wasn’t any better, she just followed whatever her husband dictated, and by the time it was time to go home, you were relieved. The only one who seemed nice was his sister, at least from the emails Nathan let you read, but she was all the way at Brazil. Maybe that was why he stayed at the dorm instead of staying at home. It put a huge distance between him and his father, whom you knew was the root of most, if not all of his problems. You tried to make him feel better.

“You’d be surprised. Even he messes up and argues with my mom sometimes. But the one thing everyone can get behind is thinking what you did was _sweet_.”

“It was _humiliating_ ,” Nathan retorted. “You better keep your mouth shut about this.”

“I already keep my mouth shut about a lot of things,” you joked, suddenly aware of how the sentence came out.

Nathan seemed to be aware of it too, the both of you falling silent. The gun he brought to the girls’ bathroom, his bullying of other Blackwell students, the drugs he frequently dealt on school grounds, and those were only the ones you were aware of. What about drugging Kate? Was that one of the things he actually did or was it just a silly rumour? You tried to ask, but the words wouldn’t come, they never came.

Your smile faded.

“I’m sorry,” Nathan muttered, shifting over to face you, expression seemingly conflicted. He hesitantly reached out his fingers to brush across your cheek, almost like you were something fragile he dared not touch without permission. But if it was permission he was looking for, you leaned into his touch, signalling just that.

You decided not to ask what he was sorry for, sighing instead as you reached up to take his hand in yours. “I just wish you could see how good you are sometimes.” You gave his hand a tight squeeze. “You don’t have to be like your father.”

“It’s hard not to,” Nathan admitted, wincing slightly. “Not when he’s sending me those fucked up emails all the time, besides having those pigs down at the station watch my every move. He’s _everywhere_ in this town, and I don’t know how to get away except to just _leave_. Go to Seattle, like you talked about.”

You nodded, and trying to take his mind off his father, you asked, “Where would you want to stay?”

“Near the sea,” Nathan responded immediately, and you recalled him telling you once that the only part about this town that wasn’t fucked up was the sea surrounding it. You could see his point. It was peaceful near there, and many of your best pictures together were taken at the beach. Plus, he loved the whales.

“That sounds perfect. We could go whale watching _all the time_ ,” you suggested happily, feeling his mood lighten already. “It was so cool the first time we went. Remember that?”

“That was only a month ago,” Nathan reminded you before his tone turned slightly sour. “I’m not that _old_.”

“You’re _still_ not over that?” you asked, barely restraining a giggle.

Nathan rolled his eyes. “You said my name sounded like some old geezer’s name!”

“That’s because it does, Nathan Prescott _the Third_ ,” you grinned, remembering how he had waved around this fact a few months into your relationship and you had made fun of him for it much to his annoyance. It was nice doing the teasing for once.

“You want to sleep alone tonight?” he snapped harshly, eyes narrowing, but you thought he was only trying to sound mean, all bark no bite.

You raised a brow. “Do you?”

He huffed, poking you in the side. “You’re so fucking annoying.”

“So are you,” you complained, elbowing him away slightly with a grin.

“Oh, shut up,” Nathan muttered as he pulled you closer to him and you let him.

The playfulness faded away once the silence sank in. Your eyes flickered to his face, noticing how Nathan seemed to be deep in thought about something, a serious expression etched on his face. Before you had a chance to ask what he was thinking about, he told you instead.

“You know, we could always move to Florida instead,” he suggested almost casually, but you could hear the weight behind the words.

“That’s where you were born, right?”

“Yeah,” he replied quietly.

You wondered, “Do you miss it?”

Nathan paused for a moment, thinking.

“Not really,” he finally answered. “But it was because of my family. Not the place.” His tone turned hopeful. “If I were to live there with _you_ instead, things would be different. No fucked up father, no fucked up townies, no fucked up teachers, just you and me.”

“That’s a lot of bad words in one sentence,” you teased lightly. “Is Arcadia Bay really _that_ bad?”

“You have no idea,” Nathan muttered, eyes serious for a moment before the emotion faded away and he tapped your nose playfully. You flicked his wrist away, feigning annoyance that disappeared when he continued in a more tentative voice, “So … what do you think about Florida?”

“I’d like that. It’ll be great to see where you grew up,” you told him sincerely before letting out a happy sigh that suddenly transitioned into a loud yawn, causing Nathan to immediately pull the blankets over the both before he turned to face the other side, allowing you to cuddle closer to him from behind.

“It’s nothing special,” he muttered.

“Only to grumpy old geezers,” you let out a breathless laugh.

Nathan made a sound at the back of his throat but you thought it sounded more amused than annoyed. For the first time tonight your eyelids felt heavy, whatever fears that were keeping you up now nowhere to be seen as you laid close to Nathan. Your hand instinctively reached up to rub his back once more, wanting him to feel safe like you did at the moment, hoping that it would help with whatever it was that prevented him from sleeping. You wanted to dream with him, wanted to dream about Florida and Seattle, and what could be.

Your hand slowly dropped from his back as your eyes fell shut, consciousness slowly fading away, the last thought being to try and talk about the Kate situation in depth the next morning. But then you dreamt of Nathan and you in Florida, far away from Arcadia Bay, and you knew deep down that by the time you woke up, it would remain buried, just like all the other things you couldn’t bear to ask him about. At least not now.

Perhaps you would let it fester just a little longer.


End file.
